My Son, The Creeper

Some dogs go through this irrational humping stage. They literally hump anything and anyone.

Legs of complete strangers.

Other dogs. Sometimes cats.

Bushes and love ferns in the bark park.

Stuffed animals.

Pillows, which are like stuffed animals except you put your face on them.

The couch.

Beer boxes. I know, but I’m sure a dog at a frat house has been caught doing this after one too many…

Your leg.

But Bandit completely skipped the compulsive humping stage and went straight to the Peeping Tom stage.

This is Bandit peeping through the bathroom door.

Can you imagine being home alone and looking over to that one eye ball?

Seriously, today I was at Justin’s parents house. We were watching, “America’s Most Haunted Places.” I can barely watch ET without getting scared, so this was obviously an issue.

So I go to the bathroom. And all of a sudden, the door starts opening up on its own.

OMGGGG JUSTIN’S PARENTS HOUSE IS ON THE TV SHOW!!!!!

THEY MUST LIVE ON SOME INDIAN BURIAL GROUND OR PET CEMETERY!!!!!

Sure enough, Bandit creeps in…looks at me and then runs out.

Thanks for that Bandit! Good thing I was on the toilet so it didn’t matter if I shit myself or not…

****

When we got home, Justin took a shower. Sure enough, I walk in and see this:

Really Bandit? Now you are creeping on people in the shower?!? So please imagine singing away in the shower. Probably to Kesha or Britney Spears — Glee style. Washing your hair and not having a care in the world. Suddenly, you drop the soap and bend over and see this dude up in your business.

Then he just runs out of the bathroom and lays down. Like nothing ever happened.

Who me? Bandit? No, I’m not a creeper.
Yes, yes- you are Bandit. And I don’t know if you get it from your Mom or your Dad….
Much love,
Ashley

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