I’ve learned this lesson the hard way. The holidays came…and so did the weight gain. The vacation started…and so did the laziness. I was really good at working out for the first two days, but then I got sick. I could barely breathe and sleeping became the activity of choice.
And much to my surprise, by New Year’s Eve…I was topping the scales. The EXACT SAME WEIGHT that I started at the year before…
I spent 3 solid minutes in the bathroom crying. Listening to people say, “Where is Ashley?”
Bawling my eyes out…that is where…I busted my ass and threw it all away at the end.
I stepped on the scale and then off again.
The number was the same.
That damn haunting number was the same…
So, I came out of the bathroom bummed. I walked up to Justin and said, “I’m so upset…the scale said I weigh 236 again.”
He looked me straight in the eyes and told me what I’ve known all along, “Only you can change that..”
Sure, I was bloated.
Sure, I was drinking.
Sure, it was the end of the day.
But that is still unacceptable.
I literally just threw all my hardwork out the window and let December defeat me.
For this reason, I did not post a before and after picture from Jan. 1, 2011 to Jan. 1, 2012. What would be different? What is so inspirational about zero pounds?
So I was depressed.
So, I didn’t know what to write about..didn’t know what pictures to post..and didn’t know how to admit to everyone how I royally bombed.
But did I bomb?
Did I really consider 2011 a failure?
I did 2 half marathons, 3 5K races and countless other miles. I hiked up a mountain with Justin and tried to run up a mountain top on our vacation.
I lost inches.
I fit into new sizes- going from a size 16 (almost 18) to a SIZE 12-14!!!!!
I joined a gym.
I ran my fastest mile at 9:51.
I did not fail in 2011. I just wasn’t committed. I wasn’t motivated to transform my diet…because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how many miles I run if I am shoving high fat & high carb meals in my face every single day.
I made a decision on Saturday to stop letting food control my life.
I made a decision to keep a food journal.
And have a goal….last year, I just wanted to get healthy. This year, I don’t want to obsess over a number, but I do want to lose 50 lbs. I want to weigh 185 lbs again.
|Our first picture together. 50 lbs ago.
She will be back this year.
But it’s not just about changing the number on the scale, it’s about changing my life. It’s about living longer so I can see my future children grow old…and I mean- I really do want to be that awesome grandma running races and doing triathlons with her grandkids.
So in order to kick off 2012, I decided to let YOU all inspire me. Motivate me. Encourage me. And more importantly, keep me accountable!
I posted this Facebook status last night:
Thank you Annette and Dan for pushing me to kick off this goal. And for the other 75 of you, I’m coming after you…one mile at a time!