My Full-Time Job for Life

I remember being at my bridal shower and reading the advice cards:

Don’t go to bed mad. Sleep on the couch.

Your wife is always right. You are always wrong.

Marriage is the hardest full-time job of your life.

Even when you are mad, don’t forget to say “I love you” before you leave the house.

Why all of the negativity? The fighting? The hard working part? The being right vs. being wrong battles?

I didn’t understand the advice.

Isn’t marriage all butterflies, my little ponies and unicorns?

Don’t married people kiss in the rain like Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams every single day?


They don’t.


Marriage is difficult.

Even the most wonderful people and happiest couples fight.


Because every single person is different. 

One night a few weeks ago, Justin and I were experiencing one of those moments.

A fight.

I couldn’t tell you why.

Being that I’m insanely emotional on any given day AND I was having a horrible month (March eeek), it really could have been ANYTHING to make me upset.

I told him he was being annoying.

“Of course I’m being annoying,” Justin said back. “I’m your husband. We live together. We are married. I’m going to be annoying!!!”

“Oh yeah, well then why do people get married? If people are so annoying?” I asked back. I didn’t really know what to say…because he was right. And at that moment, I would NEVER admit it.

“Maybe because they love each other. Maybe because they want to have kids together. And grow old together. Maybe I think that sounds pretty damn cool!!!” Justin said back.

I didn’t know what to say back so I just blurted out, “OH YEAH! YOU THINK THAT’S COOL?!”

Really, Ash?

Nice comeback, I thought.

But what can you say to that?

That is cool.

And cute.

So we just started laughing. About how silly we sounded.

And within 5 minutes, we were giving each other a goodnight kiss.

No one slept on the couch.

No one went to bed mad.

We exchanged “I love you’s” and snoozed off…

Even when Justin and I are in the middle of a fight, he always brings me back down to Earth.

He always makes me realize how much he loves me.
How much he will never give up on me us.

Marriage isn’t easy.

It truly is a full-time job.

It takes constant work.

Constant growth.

Constant desire to be better, together.

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
-Rita Ruder

Love you J-Dog.

Thanks for reminding me that marriage is worth living, fighting and annoying someone for every single day.

 Much love,

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