Guest Post: Online Dating- Just Do It

I always tell my single friends I live for their stories. And my beautiful friend Erin is no exception. A few weeks ago, I was laying around the pool with the girls and Erin was sharing some her online dating stories. I told her she must write a guest post about her experience. So, without further adieu, here is her story:

Back in October, I thought my life was over.  I had gone through a break-up with a mediocre guy who I thought was “the one” despite his many flaws.  I couldn’t eat, I sleep, and I stopped talking to my friends.  When I started realizing that I could not, in fact, die from a break-up, I decided to be proactive in my own confidence-boosting.  I joined Match.com.
I’ve always been a little skeptical of online dating, but let’s get real: I haven’t had much luck in the dating department the way I have been doing things, so I decided to go for it.  I filled out my profile and uploaded some photos.  Here are a few of the highlights of my profile:
About Me and Who I’m Looking For
I’m not entirely convinced dudes actually read these, but here it goes:
I would much rather go to a Pacers game or run than go shopping or watch TV.  I can dish it as well as I can take it because I teach at an urban high school.  I basically want to meet someone who I have a lot of fun spending time with who doesn’t mind doing his own thing while I’m busy.
Favorite Things
Talking trash to UNC and UK fans, finding kickass Mexican food restaurants, ridiculous pick-up lines, and laughing at my own ridiculousness.
Much to my surprise, the e-mails started rolling in.  Let me tell you, Match.com made me feel like the hottest female on earth.   After e-mailing and texting a few of the gentlemen, I set myself up on some dates.  I’m going to run you through a few of them.  I won’t use the poor guys’ names (because honestly, most of them sucked).
Dude 1:
I probably texted with Sylvester a good 2 months before actually meeting him for drinks on some random Tuesday.  Within the first half hour of meeting the dude, he told me he always thought he’d marry a teacher (which I am) and he invited me to Chicago with him and his family over New Years.  Umm, what the fuck, dude.  Slowww down.  We said good-bye and he attempted to eat my face off in the middle of Mass Ave.
This really should have been a red flag, but I decided to invite him out with myself and a friend a few weeks later.  We all got pretty shit-faced, and I was a lady and made him sleep on the couch.  The next morning, he bolted.  When I turned on the light, I realized that my couch was soaked.  Yeah.  I texted him and asked if he had any idea why my couch was soaked.  His response? “Nada.”  I felt like I needed a t-shirt that said “I joined online dating and all I got was a pissed-on couch.”
Dude 2:
Gerald was a nice guy.  We had a great first date at a Pacers game, but when I went out with him again, I wasn’t so sure.  We dated for a few weeks, but when he wanted me to meet his parents, I had to let him go.  He got all mopey, so I gave him another chance because I thought I had made a mistake.  Then, the tables were turned and he was in the driver’s seat and could make all of the calls because I was the one who had messed up.  I’m not a fan of that.  We called it quits (again), and he asked if we could be friends.  Dude 2, I’ve got enough friends.  I didn’t join Match.com to meet buddies, get real.
Dude 3:
By the time I started chatting with Godfrey, I was pretty much being a Match.com slut.  I was going out on so many dates for a couple of weeks that I rarely paid for meals.  One Friday, I was already pretty drunk with a couple of my friends, and Godfrey asked if I wanted to grab a drink.  I said sure, why not?  To be fair, I warned him that I had been drinking already.  But, he probably had no idea that he was going to be walking into a trainwreck of a “date.”  The next morning, my friend said, “I think we got a little too drunk on your date…”  I said, “Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be hearing from him again.”  True statement.
Dude 4:
Griffeth is probably my least favorite Match.com date, which is sort of unfair because he’ll be great for a suction-cup of a girl.  Unfortunately for him, that’s not me.  He brought me an apple on the first date (an apple for the teacher).  If I had been into him, it would have been cute, but I wasn’t.  The date was okay, and I decided to go out with him one more time.  By the day we were supposed to go out a second time, I really wasn’t feeling this guy, so I was going to cancel.  However, some flowers showed up on my desk from him.  I work at an urban high school and you better believe that my kids were saying this like, “Ooohhh GET IT Miss C!”  I definitely couldn’t cancel on him then!  I did go on that date and one more date with him, but called it quits after he called me “slutty” for dating other guys at the same time I was dating him.  Griffeth, I’m on Match.com.  Did you reallythink you were the only one I was dating after 2 dates?  I’m 25 years old and got called “slutty” for the first time by some dude I met online.  What the hell.
Dude 5:
Prescott is the guy that I’m talking to right now.  Before I even met him, we discussed the crazies that we’ve met on Match.com.  I told him that most of the guys I’ve talked to either want to get married tomorrow or use Match.com as a hook-up site.  He said, “Wait, you don’t want to go to Vegas after our first date and get married?”  Love the sarcasm.  I’m not going to comment any more on Prescott because I might actually like this one…
Ladies, as a former online-dating hater, I would now strongly recommend it.  You’ll go on some shitty dates, but they’ll make awesome stories.  I probably won’t be like those couples you see on the Match.com commercials, but I’m having a hell of a time in the process.  Plus, I’ve spent so much less on groceries.

One thought on “Guest Post: Online Dating- Just Do It

  1. omginindy says:

    Me and my baby daddy met on Match and we're still together. The crazy thing is is I got pregnant 4 months after we met AFTER he had relocated to Indy! I moved down there as I was planning to (can't give up on love!), but instead of starting a kick butt career, I started kick butt motherhood! He was the first I met from there and it was pretty much determined we would hang out like everyday (we didn't know about the relocation at that time). Good luck! It works, we are not like the couples on the commercial though. We're not even engaged.

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