What If?

When I first found out I was pregnant, I promised myself that I wouldn’t Google any of the following:

  • What can go wrong with pregnancy?
  • What are all of the birth defect out there?
  • How can people die giving birth?
  • What causes a still birth?

NOT that I don’t want to be educated about these topics ….because these are all possibilities.

No pregnancy is the same.

No birthing process is the same. 

No baby is the same.

However, I didn’t want to obsess over the negative.

And most importantly, I didn’t want to play the “What If?” game my entire pregnancy.

I’d be lying if I said those thoughts don’t cross my mind.

And sometimes I do get caught up in playing that dangerous game.

But I know that everything happens for a reason.

God has a master plan.

Last month, we had to decide if we wanted to do additional testing to help determine if Baby Sieb has certain birth defects.

These tests aren’t covered by our insurance.

And they’re very costly.

Not to mention, even if the tests come back to reveal Baby Sieb has a certain birth defect or Down Syndrome…there isn’t much they can do….

And guess what?

We will love our little one no matter how he or she enters this world.

So we opted out of the tests.

Obviously this doesn’t help battling with the “What If?” mind game – because those questions are still out there.

However, I’ve decided to focus on other aspects of my pregnancy journey…

I’ve spent my time writing and reading books that provide the education I need to fill those “What If?” gaps without obsessing over anything.

At our 20 week ultrasound on April 17th, we will find out the gender of our baby + they can tell us more about our baby’s development.

We’re obviously praying for a healthy and happy baby.

That’s our only wish.

But, what if something is wrong?

What if….

Well- then that’s just part of the journey.

In the meantime, I’m just going to cruise with the windows down.

And enjoy the sunshine and bliss that pregnancy brings into our lives each day. 

Much love,
Ashley

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