The sun was shining.
The birds were singing.
And my shirt was riding up my stomach, so my maternity band was showing.
So I went shopping on my lunch break.
And I got VIP parking at Motherhood Maternity too.
|Baby bump privileges.|
I was the only person in the store. As a result, the sales clerk (who was awfully sweet) ended up stalking me.
But hey, I let the VIP service continue. The moment I took something off the hanger and placed in my hands, she was right by my side, “Let me put that in your fitting room!”
Finally, I found some goods and went into the fitting room.
“Let me know if you need anything at all!” She yelled.
I wanted to ask if she’d be willing to run down to Panera and get me a salad, but figured that’d be too much to ask.
The first sweater I tried on looked great, but I was worried the warmer weather would prevent me from getting good use out of it.
And then I tried on a dress, which was on sale for $15.
I noticed a black strap on belly. I debated if I should wear it or not, but then I thought – mise well give a try.
I strapped on the baby bump and slipped the dress over my head.
What happened next….
What I saw in the mirror….
Might make you pee your pants….
But before I could even react or say anything -the clerk comes by, “How is everything in there?! Do you need any other sizes?”
She felt so close and loud that I really thought she flipped open the curtain and was watching me.
Thankfully, she did no such a thing.
I looked in the mirror and lied, “Everything is great in here!”
Is this not the worst fake bump you’ve ever seen?
|MAKE IT STOP!|
|My real life bump is much better.
I really couldn’t stop laughing.
I showed the picture to Cayla back at the office and she almost peed her pants / told me it looked like I was growing an alien.
“You clearly put it on the wrong way,” Cayla said, while crossing her legs and laughing so hard she nearly cried.
I did not get the dress AND I did not use the fake baby bump for future outfits.
I did, however, get some sweet purple leggings and long tank taps perfect for summer.
|If you call me Barney, I will punch you in the ear lobe.
They also gave me some awesome coupons + a free baby bottle! Holler- Baby Sieb’s first bottle!!!
Hopefully this made you laugh.
And even more so, I hope you look cuter in fake baby bumps than I do…
|And don’t worry! I eventually got my salad!
BBQ chicken, black beans, corn, tortilla strips, and bbq ranch.
Thank you, Panera!!