I have to be honest…
As I sat at the kitchen table eating my Special K cereal, my mind just kept repeating all of the comments and stories people have been throwing my way these last few days.
And by the time I got to work, I just wanted to hide under my desk and cry.
I know deep in my heart everyone has the best intentions. But it seems like the majority of the comments I get are geared toward my life being “over” and how I should “sleep (or do anything relatively fun) while I can” because “your entire world is about to turn upside down.”
And while I am FULLY aware that these are true statements….
But to be honest, it’s just not what you want to hear the days leading up to your big day.
It’s gotten to the point where I am even questioning if I will be a good mother. Or I am even cut out for parenthood.
What if I can’t make him stop crying?
What if I never sleep again?
What if I never shower again?
What if I never brush my hair again?
What if I turn into a cow – in all contexts of the word – and simply let my child nurse for hours and hours without even blinking?
What if I never leave the house again without wearing a sweat pant suit and a scrunchy ponytail?
What if my husband and I never have sex again and we simply become roommates – living in the same house, but operating like zombies?
What if am a bad mother?
These are the types of questions I had my husband last time before bed. These questions of doubt and fear have completely consumed my thoughts these last few days….
These are the thoughts some people, movies, and books have put in my head about the perceptions of parenthood.
And the reality is- many of these thoughts are true…maybe not to the extreme examples I’ve included…but these situations are likely going to happen.
But these are the thoughts that I don’t want to have in my head leading up to the birth of my son.
I want encouragement.
I want excitement.
I want joy.
I know people think they’re doing me a favor by reminding me that being a new parent IS NOT all butterflies and ponies bringing home a baby.
And certainly, there will be a lot of crying (Justin, Bandit, and myself included).
There will be fights.
But can we all take a minute to throw out some positivity and share some good stories too?
Tell me what you loved about your doctor or nurses at the hospital. How they completely made a difference in your mood or experience at the hospital.
Tell me what went through your head as you first laid eyes on your son or daughter for the first time. How you haven’t ever seen a more beautiful or loving creature in your entire life.
Tell me about a trick that REALLY worked when you were trying to put your sleepless baby to bed. How you only wished someone would have told you this sooner….
Tell me about a moment where you just looked at your new child and realized that you…and your world were never the same. How you don’t know how you ever truly lived and experienced life without this little tiny person.
Tell me about something your child said or did that really touched your heart. How their thoughtful actions or words made you see them in a different way or light.
Maybe as a society we tend to over-share our negative experiences more than the positive ones. I mean, my Facebook and Twitter newsfeed is FULL of this proof. Many of the posts I come across are people complaining, leaving indirect comments toward other people, or simply feeling sorry for themselves.
I once heard for every bad experience, you’ll tell 10 people about it.
And for every positive one, you only tell 3.
Why only 3 people? Why not share the good? Why not switch around those numbers?
So maybe…just maybe…we aren’t programed in today’s age to put positivity first….but can we all agree it’s time to switch that mentality?
There is CERTAINLY time and place for the negative stories. I’m not saying you should hide all of the bad experiences and stories that come up in your life. It’ll only lead to isolation, heart break, and the inability to heal or move on.
But can we all agree that now is the time to put positivity first?!
I’ve absolutely have friends and family in my life who have shared some remarkable stories and shared some really uplifting advice.
And those same people, who have been super positive throughout this entire pregnancy…you know who you are…and I am SO SO SO thankful for you…In fact, there is too many of you to name – because I really do have a great support group in my life.
And no one person triggered this post or did / said anything awful to me that kept me up all night cying. So please, please don’t take this personal if you think (or know) you said something about getting more sleep now or how my life will change. I promise you there isn’t a single person I have in mind while writing this post.
It’s just a combination of one liners here and there – sometimes from strangers – that just get me thinking…
But pregnancy related or not, it’s just an important reminder for us all…to focus on how we can ease someone’s mind instead of worry their mind. To share positive stories that inspire hope and happiness.
Just something to think about…