Transformation

I’ve always watched shows like “The Biggest Loser” and “Extreme Weight Loss” – everyone always had a story.

A trigger point.

A moment in their past that made them lean on food and give up on their health.

They gave up on life.

They thought they didn’t deserve better.

They never imagined their body would capable of a transformation.

The damage was done, right?

They were doomed to be trapped in this body that didn’t allow them to do the things they’ve always dreamed of doing, right?

They could never be fit like Jillian Michaels or Chris Powell, right?

Wrong.

Transformation is possible.

Transformation is amazing.

Transformation is life changing.

People always ask me what motivates me.

The answer is simple.

I hit my rock bottom.

I saw a number on the scale that scared the shit out of me.

The day I delivered Coop, I weighed 291 lbs.

Almost 300 lbs.

That number still seems unreal.

I didn’t feel 300 lbs.

I didn’t think I looked like 300 lbs.

But I was, in fact, at a dangerous weight that could cause many health issues if I didn’t change.

If I didn’t transform ….

I made small changes at first. And I didn’t give up everything at once. I certainly didn’t add everything at once either. Weight loss is a journey. I can’t stress that enough…

So the baby steps started taking place…

I stopped drinking (for the most part). And this was easy – no one wants to be hungover caring for a baby. I try to save the drinks for special occasions and celebrations!

I started taking the stairs at work (even if I had a coffee in my hand and had to carry my lunch bag, workout bag, laptop bag, and purse)! At first, I would get up all 4 flights and you would think I just ran a full marathon. But I’m getting better…maybe now you would think I just ran a 5k!

I stated packing my lunch – mainly salads and fresh veggies and fruits for snacks. And leftovers- can’t forget about the leftovers…my husband always makes sure I don’t leave home without the leftovers. And I managed to find the willpower to pass up pizza and brownies from the break room. Dang you free snacks at work!

I gave up pop and sweet tea. Pop was easy- but sweet tea was the hard part. I love McCallisters sweet tea- all day, everyday.

I started lifting and using my body in amazing ways. I can’t tell you how many times I would go to the gym and just hop around on the elliptical for 20 mins and leave! What a waste! I’ve learned there is so much more I can do in 20 minutes to strengthen my body and tone up. I feel so powerful and strong when I finish my workouts now. I feel ready to take on the world – or stay up all night with a sleepless baby. Either one!

I stopped drinking the sugary lattes – boy I miss them, but no one needs that much sugar in one drink (which I could gulp down in a matter of minutes)! This doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy a few pumpkin spice lattes in the fall- but year round, I am making better choices!

I started believing and trusting my body. I wasn’t afraid to try new exercises or lifts.

I gained back some confidence. When I first start working out, I would hide in a bathroom stale and change from my work clothes into my workout clothes. I felt silly- almost like I was a shy high schooler – hiding that way. About a month into my workout program, I told myself to say “Screw it!” and change in the locker room – out in the open! Now don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want a janitor walking in on me – but ladies (and even gentlemen reading along), let’s start embracing our bodies and being proud of our efforts to change and transform! Can I get a booty shake?!

And most importantly, I changed my relationship with food. I’ve always had food issues. At times, I wasn’t eating enough. At times, I was making myself sick. At times, I was overeating. And at all times, I was using food as a source of satisfaction and control in my life. I’ve had such an unhealthy relationship with food for years. My friend Cayla called me out one day and said, “You just think about food too much.”

She wasn’t mean about it.

And I’m not sure if she even remembers saying that…

But it really hit home for me.

I was always thinking about food. I would get into the office at 8 am and ask my coworkers where we should eat for lunch.

I would email Justin at 10 am and ask about dinner plans.

And unless it involved eating out or grilling burgers and eating tater tots, I would be ticked.

I leaned on food for all my satisfaction and emotional control.

It’s a work in progress, but I’m changing my relationship with food. I use my lunch break for workouts now. Justin has started asking me about dinner plans. And we are experimenting with awesome and healthy dishes! Last night we had delicious homemade blackbean burgers with a garlic aioli sauce and grilled potatoes.

I am changing.

I am transforming.

And I am happy!

Much love,

Ashley

The left = November 2013 (263 lbs)

The right = March 2014 (246 lbs)