Dear Cooper,
Happy half birthday, little nugget!
I can’t believe how quickly time is passing by.
Everyone warned me this would happen, but I couldn’t ever anticipate the truthfulness of their words. Sometimes, I look back at pictures from your newborn days and can’t even picture you being that small.
I somehow forget how stressed and crazy I felt during these first few weeks.
Up every 2 hours for feedings.
Trips to the doctor and hospital for feeding issues.
And moments of pure panic as I questioned if I was doing the right things.
I remember being afraid of putting you in your car seat. You seemed so fragile.
I remember the only way I could get you to sleep would be snuggling with you on my chest. We’ve spend many nights sleeping in the nursery together.
I remember watching videos of how to wash a baby because I honestly had no clue how to bathe you.
I remember thinking that I’d never sleep in my own bed again. We lived downstairs on the couch for days – you slept in the bassinet of your pack-n-play and we slept on the couches. Bandit was always by our side too.
I remember looking at the clock at 3 am and reading the quote in your bedroom. I would read it over and over – each time having a new memory and glimpse into the future pop into my mind. Tears of joy would stream down my face and onto yours as I kissed you and thanked God for bringing you into my life.
I am no expert. I still question myself and wonder if I am doing the right things, but I will say it’s amazing how far we have come in these (quick) six months.
And I can’t go without saying that I’ve been amazed at how much your daddy has grown over the past 6 months too. I try my best to soak in all of the adorable moments you share with your daddy. I can always write about my stories and memories with you, but I truly hope you understand how much your daddy loves you.
One morning recently, you and daddy were laughing and looking in the mirror. You started smiling, laughing, and jumping. Your daddy kissed you on the forehead and said, “I hope you stay this happy forever.”
I share that same wish, baby boy.
I want you to be happy and love life as much as you do now.
A lot of people tell me that you are the happiest baby they have ever met. And I have to agree. I can already tell that you will be so kindhearted and full of life. You have so much to offer this world already and I hope you always keep your curiosity and excitement for life.
Anyway, back to your daddy!! You get so excited when daddy walks into the house from work. You get a big smile and start bouncing in my arms, “I missed you today, bubba!” Daddy will say.
He lifts you from my arms, gives you a kiss, and looks at me and says, “I just love him so much!”
I agree – wholeheartedly – and then daddy will ask about your day at daycare.
There are other moments that I will always cherish as well. Like when daddy wakes up early to feed you and then you fall asleep together on the chair. Or when I watch you playing together. Or when he dances around the house and you laugh at him.
I love how your daddy is so hands on with you and would do anything in this world to provide for us and make sure we are happy.
Now this doesn’t mean we don’t fight- although we try hard not to do this around you. We certainly have our differences. We have our late night arguments (but we have a rule in place that nothing between the hours of 11 pm to 5 am can be held against us). In fact, the other day I brought up something your daddy said and he quickly reminded me, “Yeah well that was at 11:30 p.m. so you can’t hold that against me!”
Being a parent isn’t easy. Your daddy and I are challenged daily. But we are doing the best we can!
On Friday, we are heading back to Riley Children’s Hospital to have your head evaluated again. You’ve had SUCH great progress. The flatness is looking a ton better and you’re getting stronger by the day. I’m so proud of you.
Speaking of days, we’ve had a lot of fun days, firsts, and memories over the past month:
You have grown – both physically and emotionally- so much over the past month. You are strong, smart, and happy – the perfect package. I love watching you grow and change, but I am also learning to live in the moment. I’m trying not to rush you. I’m trying not to say things like, “I can’t wait until he can crawl” or “I can’t wait until he can talk.”
I know these milestones will be fun when you eventually reach them, but I am honestly loving these moments of your life when you are still considered a baby. One day, I’ll wake up and you’ll be 30 years old and maybe have children of your own. So right now, I find myself sitting at work saying things like, “I can’t wait to get home” or “I can’t wait to take my boys on a walk.”
Let’s not rush, baby boy.
Let’s just take each day as it comes.
Let’s laugh, sing, and dance daily. Mostly laugh (because you have the best laugh in the world).
Let’s enjoy every single moment that we get to share together.
Let’s love hard and forgive easy.
Deal?
I love you to the moon and back.
Much love,
Mom
Ashley Sieb 